I regret quitting my job

Help! I’ve made a terrible decision and I regret quitting my job. What do I do now?

You quit your job you had thought, “this will be a fresh start in life.” You boldly left an unfulfilling career only to realize that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Quitting your job always comes with a finality to it. Even if you left on good terms, you must burn those bridges when you quit. Also, let’s face it. Nobody wants to go back to their old employer tell them "I regret quitting my job" and humbly ask for their job back.

Leaving a job is a significant and weighty decision. It can offer a new chapter and a change in the trajectory for your career and life. Quitting your job was a spirited and adventurous step towards your goals and a bigger vision for your life. Now you have doubts and think, “I regret quitting my job.”

A harsh reality of a big decision

When you make a significant, life altering move like quitting your job, it’s easy to put monumental pressure on yourself to make that decision a success. If it doesn’t feel like it’s immediately working out according to your plan, you can see it as a colossal failure. If you beat yourself up over this so called “failure,” you can spiral down into an abyss. It’s at that point that you think, “I regret quitting my job.” The comfort and security of your old job seems like the savior to all your problems.

Relax, it’s part of the journey

It’s essential to recognize that the feelings of regret you’re experiencing is a normal part of quitting a job or leaving a career. It’s a natural part of processing the emotions of the decision. It’s a required step in transitioning from the comfort of an unfulfilling but secure job to a new meaningful career path.

Succeeding in moving past regret requires you to recognize that you didn’t make a perfect decision. But you decisively acted with the best intentions and made a decision that you felt was necessary. If you’re in an imperfect place in your career, it’s unlikely to take a perfect step without any regret.

Unfortunately, some people will get stuck in a stage of regret and will never be able to move past those feelings. It’s possible to get trapped in a limbo state of “I regret leaving my job.”

Grieving the loss

From the outside looking in, it’s easy to see someone leaving or quitting their job as a successful power move. A move towards bigger and better things. However, leaving a job or career may cause a period of disillusionment and grief. Grieving is a normal way we process change or loss in our lives.

When we grieve, we transition through these stages as we move to a new (and better) future.

Denial -> Anger -> Bargaining -> Depression -> Acceptance

The feeling of regret of quitting a job is part of that grieving process.

My experience of regret

I too felt this experience and had regret quitting my job. When I first shut down my window cleaning business after over a decade, I had a period where it felt I had made a huge mistake. It seemed like I had let go of the only thing in my life that I was proud of and that offered me strength. I experienced sadness and even felt depressed at times.

As someone who can get stuck in low mood states, I knew I couldn’t let this mindset consume me. What eventually got me over the hump was a shift of perspective that I had. Instead of seeing the guilt and regret of my decision as defining my failure, I saw it as a necessary feeling along the way to a new chapter. If I could allow myself to embrace how I felt, it was a sign of strength.

Quitting. The first step.

If you’re unhappy in your job, looking for more meaningful work and a purposeful career, quitting your job is a necessary step along the way. The voice within saying "I regret quitting my job" is speaking based on an incomplete picture in an unfinished journey. When you leave a job, you create a space or void in your life. You must use this space to strategically act. To create a new career path where this void was left. It takes some time, trial and error and learning to do this successfully. Be patient and kind with yourself.

There’s usually a lot of emotion tied up in leaving a job. Sometimes we can get caught up in the significance and emotion of leaving a job and forget there’s a journey beyond that first step. In transitioning to your next venture, you not only have to exit the old path. You must plan and take concrete action steps towards the next one.

A trap I’ve fallen into is thinking that in leaving a job somehow, I’m going to have clarity or some lightbulb moment. When we close one door, it often does allow another one to open. However, we still must do the work to open the door of opportunity and walk through it.

You gotta keep moving forward

You must resist the urge to get caught up in the past career-wise. A river always moves downstream and so does your profession. If you find yourself trying to swim upstream or getting preoccupied over the past, it’s a recipe for misery. You must keep moving forward.

Yes, it can be daunting to leave a job and feel that disillusionment. There is going to be uncertainty ahead of you. The strength in your success doesn’t exist in a job title you had. The strength of your success lies within yourself.

Even if you don’t currently have the answers or clarity you want, keep the faith and trust yourself. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Better times are in front of you, not behind.

You may temporarily feel regret. Remember, the job you quit wasn’t an exceptional one. If it was, you wouldn’t have left. You deserve the best.

What you need is a path

A big component of the regret over quitting a job is feeling that you don’t have any better options. We can get so caught up in the concept of what’s good or what’s the best. We judge one career in comparison to another based on wage, benefits and other job perks. Even more significantly we can judge one career from another by our status.

I recall a major roadblock for myself in my own career change. Because I was someone who was self employed, I had a block against the idea of working for someone else. I was a business owner, and it would be difficult if I were to accept the concept of working for someone else. I kept on getting stuck. If a potential option required working for someone else, I saw it as a step backward.

Even if that was a step back, who cares? If I found a new path that was fresh, exciting and motivating, I would be happier and more fulfilled. Regardless of the title or role. Sometimes you must ask yourself, do you want to be happy? Or do you want to get caught up seeking status?

In getting caught up on judging career options based on only what’s “better,” you can miss the obvious path, option or job opening that might be worth taking. You can get trapped in entitlement to only the best job titles.

A good career path often can only be judged at a later stage upon reflection. It was never really about the role or the job title but where it allowed you to go in your life. A new job that someone might feel above accepting, might lead you to opportunities you couldn’t have imagined.

If you’re caught up in regret and guilt, or if stuck in your career, let go of “better.” Instead look for a path. Explore your curiosities and increase your options. Build bridges to a new future, even if you aren’t sure if there might be one there.