Core of Change

Being Happy At Work (and why that can feel so elusive)

Why seeking happiness at work can make you miserable. There's a better approach.

Beinghappyatwork1

Part of every career journey should include being happy at work. The problem is, if we make that the main goal, we often end up chasing a moving target… and blaming ourselves when it keeps sprinting away.

When happiness at work seems to escape you, here’s a better approach. It’s one where you:

  • Learn why chasing being happy at work can backfire—and what to aim for instead: meaning, fulfillment, and purpose (the stuff that holds steady even when Tuesday is being… Tuesday).
  • Step out of the comparison trap (money, titles, status, LinkedIn humblebrags) and start measuring progress in a way that actually motivates you, not drains you.
  • Build real purpose inside your current job using values, service, boundaries, and “earned satisfaction” (the kind that comes from doing work you respect, not work that merely looks impressive).
  • Run simple weekly/monthly check-ins so you keep improving your work life without burning out, selling out, or quietly Googling “jobs that don’t make me cry” at 11:47 p.m.


More on this later… but first, if you’re even slightly wondering whether your work is misaligned, let’s not overthink it. Let’s assess it.

Meaningful Work Self-Assessment

If you’re even slightly wondering whether your work is misaligned, let’s not overthink it. Let’s assess it.

Rate each statement from 1–5:

1 = Strongly disagree
2 = Disagree
3 = Neutral
4 = Agree
5 = Strongly agree

A) Purpose & Alignment
1. I understand how my work helps someone (customers, teammates, community).
2. My daily tasks connect to values that matter to me personally.
3. I can explain (in one sentence) what my work is “for.”

B) Ownership & Autonomy
4. I have enough control over how I do my work to do it with pride.
5. I’m building a career path that feels like mine—not someone else’s script.
6. I can shape at least part of my week around my strengths.

C) Growth & Craftsmanship
7. I’m improving at something important each month.
8. I regularly do “deep work” (focused effort) that leads to real progress.
9. I care about the quality of what I produce, even when no one is watching.

D) Integrity & Character
10. I act in ways I respect, even under pressure.
11. My work persona and my real self are mostly the same person.
12. I set boundaries that protect my energy and my standards.

E) Contribution & Connection
13. I feel useful to others at work more days than not.
14. I have at least one positive, supportive relationship at work.
15. I’m recognized fairly—or I advocate for clarity when I’m not.

Scoring (2 minutes)

  • Add up your total score (15–75).
  • Then total each section (Purpose, Ownership, Growth, Integrity, Connection) to see your strongest and weakest areas.


What Your Score Suggests

  • 60–75: Strong foundation. You’re not just chasing being happy at work—you’re building a work life that can actually hold you. Protect what’s working, and don’t let busyness bully your standards.
  • 45–59: Mixed but workable. You’re close. Small changes (one boundary, one growth goal, one service habit) can shift things fast—without needing to blow up your whole life.
  • 30–44: Drifting. You may be running on obligation or comparison. Pick one area to rebuild. One. Not five. (Your nervous system would like a word.)
  • 15–29: Misaligned. Work is likely costing you more than it’s giving. Start with integrity and boundaries, then explore bigger changes: role, team, or direction.

CHASING "BEING HAPPY AT WORK" — WHY IT CAN BACKFIRE

Most of us spend a huge chunk of our lives working. So naturally, being happy at work starts to feel like the minimum requirement for a decent life.

But here’s the trap: the harder you chase being happy at work, the more you treat happiness like a finish line… and the more frustrated you get when it doesn’t stay put.

Happiness is real, and it’s wonderful. It’s just also fickle. It comes and goes. If you build your career around catching and holding a feeling, you’re basically asking your job to do the emotional labor of a full-time therapist, a great relationship, eight hours of sleep, and a meaningful life. That’s a lot to put on a calendar invite.

As Viktor Frankl put it):
“...Happiness must happen... as the unintended side-effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself.”

Translation: stop aiming directly at the feeling. Aim at what makes you proud to be you.

STEP OUT OF THE COMPARISON TRAP

We also get tricked into assuming other people have cracked the code:
More money. Better title. Cooler company. Cleaner looking professional headshot.

And we mistakenly assume that must equal being happy at work.

But status is a noisy metric. It tells you how your career looks. Not how it feels to live inside it.

Practical Ways to Build Purpose (Without Blowing Up Your Life)

This is where we get strategic.

Psychologists Deci and Ryan (Self-Determination Theory) found that well-being tends to rise when our work supports autonomy, competence, and connection—not just external rewards like pay or prestige. In other words: you’re not “ungrateful” for wanting more. You’re human.

The deeper fix is alignment. One version of you shouldn’t show up at work to “get something” while the real you only is allowed to live after 5 p.m. That split is exhausting. And it often shows up as the desperate chase for being happy at work—because you’re trying to make a misaligned situation feel okay with a temporary emotion.

A fulfilling and meaningful career is less about securing a permanent mood… and more about living by a standard.

7 Practical Ways to Feel Happier at Work (Without Losing Your Soul)

1) Redefine the goal: stop chasing “happy,” start chasing “meaning”
Concrete step:

  • Write one sentence that describes what you want your work to stand for (not what you want it to get you).

Example: “I build things that genuinely help people make better decisions.”

2) Build a “purpose bridge” between your life and your job
Concrete steps:

  • List your top 3 values (honesty, craftsmanship, service, freedom, family).
  • For each value, choose one tiny behavior you can practice at work.

Example: “Craftsmanship = I ship one thing I’m proud of each day.”

3) Quit the comparison game with a “progress scoreboard”
Concrete steps:

  • Create a weekly scorecard: Contribution, Growth, Integrity.
  • Track inputs you control:
  • Contribution: meaningful customer/helpful teammate moments
  • Growth: hours learning/practicing
  • Integrity: one time you did the right thing when it was inconvenient


4) Design your day around “earned satisfaction,” not comfort
Concrete steps:

  • Identify 1–2 tasks you avoid but always feel better after doing.
  • Block 60–90 minutes early in the day for them.
  • No procrastination rule: just start. (Even 15 minutes counts.)


5) Create boundaries that protect your best self (not just your time)
Concrete steps:

  • Choose one boundary for 2 weeks:
  • No email before a defined start time
  • Cap at 4 clients a day
  • No meetings without an agenda
  • Communicate it simply: “To do my best work, I’m doing X. If you need Y, here’s how to reach me.”
  • Track energy + quality (not just output).


6) Make service your shortcut to fulfillment (even in small doses)
Concrete steps:

  • Once per day, do one “make it easier for someone” action:
  • Write a clear handoff note
  • Document a repeat process
  • Give a teammate a heads-up on a risk
  • Help a customer without trying to get credit


7) Run a monthly “soul audit” and adjust, don’t escape
Concrete steps:
- On the last Friday of the month, answer:
1) What felt most meaningful?
2) What drained me that I can reduce/delegate/renegotiate?
3) Where did I act from fear/comparison instead of character?
4) What one change would make next month more aligned?
- Turn it into one experiment for next month.
- If nothing improves after 2–3 experiments, consider a bigger change: role shift, new team, or a different path.

Because here’s the real win: not forcing being happy at work every day… but building a career where you respect who you are while you’re doing it. That’s the kind of happiness that doesn’t require you to lose your soul to keep it.

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