A life lesson in skillfully handling disagreements

How we paint ourselves in a corner in our livelihood and ability to earn a living

Too often our options to be fulfilled at work, earn a living, and find purpose in our careers is limited not because of a lack of a skillset, knowledge or expertise. It’s limited because of our inability to address the repeating patterns that become a life lesson we fail to learn.

The good news. We get to let go of this and see new possibilities unfold.

Our lives become stuck when they follow a repeating pattern or failure to learn from our mistakes. Ultimately, our ability to get ahead in our job, business or profession gets simultaneously caught in the same pattern.

It looks like this…

You’re working towards something; you’re making progress or headway and then…

You hit a roadblock.

This roadblock could be a disagreement, a bad habit or a bad habit of getting into disagreements.

Then…

You crash and burn, lose all momentum and are left picking up the pieces.

You restart and rebuild only to have the same thing happen again.

If someone is repeating the same mistakes over and over, it is a failure to learn a life lesson.

Until the pattern is changed and recognized, the possibility of changing and transforming your life is halted.

The career consequences of a repeating pattern

The failure of a repeating pattern in a life lesson is that it creates a loss of hope.

It robs you of your power and your ability to pull the levers to change your circumstances.

You get trapped in a bubble. Instead of being enthralled, curious and full of wonder, your future begins to lack possibility. You become burnt out, apathetic and full of despair.

You have become your own barrier to changing your circumstances.

Hold on, though… There is a positive side to this story.

You can always say “no more!”

These repeating patterns can be a life lesson where you get to say “I’m not doing that anymore.”

When you do so, you’re removing your own barriers that you’ve placed on your unlimited potential.

The most valuable life lessons to be learned… Relationships

We’ve all grappled with the feeling at some point.

When you get into a disagreement and feel compelled to react with pettiness, anger and a victim mentality. You feel, you’ve been wronged!

It’s a common theme when a business deal goes wrong, a negotiation gets soured or when someone feels hurt and betrayed.

It’s at this time that all parties involved become emotional, get angry and no longer see eye-to-eye. Everyone feels like they’ve been terribly wronged and that the other side must admit their fault and be punished for what they’ve done.

It’s awkward, but it’s inevitable.

Unfortunately, too many people’s professional options are forever defined by an inability to handle these encounters. At the slightest hint of bad feelings, everything goes south. Bridges get burned and all progress is stopped.

But…

What some fail to realize is that reaching your aspirations requires not placing guilt or blame in these scenarios. It’s in delicately and skillfully rising above the situation and navigating it.

When emotions are the highest, can you rise above? If your future freedom and happiness are at stake, is it worth it?

A life lesson in learning emotional intelligence

I’ve had acquaintances that you could say their lives were defined by the incapacity for handling this type of scenario.

It’s a sad and lonely story really.

It’s the story of each of their relationships slowly being destroyed. Each bridge and relationship going up in flames because the “other person” needed to be called out and blamed for their faults.

Soon, that person is stuck on an island without any means to change their circumstances. They’ve become a victim of their own emotions and attitude.

In our careers, business or professional lives, the same thing can happen. Instead of using disagreements as grounds to fortify our relationships, admit our faults and transcend our human instincts, you too can get stuck on an island.

Misplaced frustrations

When we want to gain more out of our professional life. When we want to gain that promotion, start that business or get that dream job, what stands in the way?

Is it a clever idea you need? A technical skill? Experience?

There is so much misplaced frustration in many career journeys. But when someone continuously mishandles tough disagreements, they shouldn’t be so confused as to why they aren’t happy and fulfilled in their livelihood. Or, why they aren’t making as much money as they would like.

However, every professional journey is going to reach a bottle neck that is a tough negotiation and the potential for hurt feelings.

When these are dealt with in anger, victimhood or blaming, doors get closed off to new possibilities and a hopeful future.

Then, frustration sets in because there seems to be a lack of options to change your own circumstances.

Handling adversity in tough relationship negotiations

Handling tough disagreements is an essential skill. A disagreement can be one of the toughest life lessons to be learned. When it’s handled poorly, doors close. But when handled with understanding and integrity can offer healing and new unforeseen possibilities.

When you encounter such a situation that’s grounds for disagreement, it requires you to step outside yourself, be the bigger person and understand why the “other side” feels the way they do. It requires you to put your own feelings aside and listen to the other person.

Can you advocate for the other person? Even if it seems to be against your own best interest?

This requires you to admit where you might have made a mistake or been in the wrong.

I get it. It’s easy and sounds good in theory. The challenge isn’t in that it sounds like a good idea.

The hard part is doing it when your emotions and feelings are saying, “I’m upset and it’s all your fault. I want you to suffer for it.”

It’s interesting though. When you mindfully make the effort to show understanding in a disagreement, you disarm the other party. Instead of them trying to find fault in you, they begin as well to “see the disagreement from your side.”

Don’t underestimate the power of emotional intelligence in tough disagreements. It might have miracles to offer.

It’s a skill  and one of the most important life lessons to be learned. It will transform doomed relationships, and forever change yourself. It will create new unlimited potential where in the past failure was inevitable.

It might be one of the greatest lessons learned in life.